Eaten Alive

As adults , we know there are no such things as monsters , no such things as creatures of the darkness. As children , we are conditioned by television and books to believe that monsters and creatures of the night are real. This is how some of us learn to fear the dark. After all , everyone knows that monsters can't come out until it gets dark. And so , some of us never lose our fear of the dark. From childhood , to adulthood , that fear remains constant , like an invisible chain around the neck , a chain that keeps us connected to our own fear , a fear of the unknown.
My fear of the unknown began when I was seven. My older brother , Frank , used to torment me with the most gruesome ghost stories. He knew I didn't like ghost stories ; they gave me nightmares. And so , almost night after night , he would come up with the bloodiest stories he could think of.

Dream Journal

  The first dream took place in the backyard of the house I grew up in. I was outside with a lot of people I didn't know. I found this small piece of chalk like statue shaped and made to look like a young female movie star. I remember sucking on it's lips , like I was trying to make out with it. Then a woman says that two of the things were missing. There was an old man who asked me if I had them , and I said no. "Are you sure you didn't put them in your pocket?" he said. I said no. Of course , I was lying. They were in my pocket , whatever the hell they were. So , we all started walking toward the back fence. In just a few seconds , we were in a different place. It was like a white room , with a door in the back ground.

    The dream shifted again. I'm now in my back yard , at the back gate , trying to hide under a blanket that's been draped over the side of the fence by the gate. Here , I'm like a short dwarf or something. My legs are like a foot and a half long. Some guy goes through the open gate , comes back in , sees me hiding behind the blanket , and says , "Whoa!"

   In the next part of the dream , I'm in the back yard with someone else (I can't remember who it was). A woman (she looked like Patricia Richardson) who was staying outside , in back of the house - behind the garage - comes in to the back yard completely naked for some reason. We're trying to get a peek at her around the edge of the house. When she went back out the gate , we followed her. But there was no one there. I think Tony and a girlfriend of his had sleeping bags outside the back gate. But they were gone now.

  

   I also had a dream about my oldest sister , Debbie. She died twenty-two years ago. Once again , in this dream , it was the house I grew up in. Debbie was going to the beach with Marshall.

Memories Of My Life , part 3

    When I was a kid , we went to Big Bear a lot during the summer months. We would often visit the same campgrounds week after week. We would spend whole Saturdays and Sundays there , picnicking , hiking , and just hanging out. Sometimes mom and dad would take us to Santa's Village. Those were some of the best times of my early life.

    One summer day , we visited one of our favorite spots. I must have been around eight or nine at the time. I remember I had these small toy animals. I thought I dropped one of them ( I can still remember the color - it was orange ) somewhere , and when I couldn't find it , everyone was sure a Blue Jay must have taken it. I remember we gabbed about it excitedly for some time.

Memories of my life , part 2

  When I was fifteen , I went to the California Jam with my cousins , Walter , Jackie , and Candy , and several of their friends from school. They picked me up the night before ( Friday ) , in an old gray van , that must have belonged to Walter. My aunt Shirley lived in a house by Azusa High school. I remember sitting on the floor , in the living room with the others , while cock roaches crawled sluggishly across the carpet several feet from us.

   I don't remember a whole lot about that night , or the following day , but I do remember that there was a lot of smoking and drinking , and the music was loud ( incredibly loud ) and exciting. I also remember that the main reason I wanted to go , was Black Sabbath. I was outside on the front porch with an old transistor radio , listening to KLOS. Bob Coburn came on and said , something like Here's one of the bands that will be appearing at the California Jam. The song he played was Sabbath , Bloody Sabbath.

   I remember that the speakers were huge , as big as houses. My ears have been ringing ever since.

Memories of my life , part 1

   When I was twelve , and thirteen years old , I was a basketball player and fan. I liked the Lakers , and the UCLA bruins. I remember staying up late on Friday and Saturday nights to watch Bruins basketball when mom and dad were next door playing games with Dorothy and Stan. I would also watch Alfred Hitchcock , and The Sixth Sense. While watching Hitchcock and Sixth Sense , my imagination often ran wild. Sometimes I would hear footsteps on the front porch , and sounds of the house settling became sounds of someone knocking or trying to break in.

   One night while watching something scary , I heard a scream. I almost jumped through the ceiling - literally. It hadn't come from the television. It came from next door. Later mom told me it was Dana Grinter. Apparently she'd awakened during the night to discover that her sister , Dawn , was not there.

 

 

The Hour Before Dawn

 

 

 

The Hour before dawn ,
when dark things creep ,
things unknown ,
things unseen ,
they come in dreams ,
they make you scream.


 

"The Man Who Wasn't There"

   Today I saw a man who wasn't there ,
   he looked like my father ,
   same eyes , same smile , same tousled hair ,
   he looked my way and seemed to recognize me ,
   I just stood there and stared. 
  

   It wasn't the first time I'd seen my father.
I' seen him many times before ,
the last time I'd seen him , was the day he walked out the door.